Thursday, 30 October 2008

• i'm almost positive no one reads this

  but that's ok.
  that'sOK.
  
  
  but yeah. i almost just spilled an entire cup of coffee on my keyboard. what a catastrophe that would have been.
  
  the more i listen to music, the more i go to shows, the more i listen and re-listen to music that i've recorded and mixed, the more i feel like i can't just stand idle and not do something. and as i sit here and just listen to songs we've recorded, it makes me feel like i just can't sit still and i just want to be doing something proactive to get going and i keep thinking that over and over and over and over just the same thoughts over and over again. and i'm still sitting in the same chair at the same desk typing on the same keyboard. and nothing gets done about it.
  
  i mean, it's not like i can just get up and pull a song out of the air and record it. that's just impossible.
  but i'm just so restless and i don't know what to do to fix it.
  
  i don't believe that God puts people and passions in your life for you to push them aside. restlessness comes from either frustration of being out of His will, or driving passion to complete His will. often, both simultaneously. i just don't know what to do next. like, i do but i don't.
  
  as far as i know, i'll be in boston in about 9-10 months working on my bachelor's. for photog.
  i just sneezed.
  but what about after that? what about, during that?
  i know the answers will probably come 'in time'.
  
  i hate waiting.
  for everything.
  
  
  

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