Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Saturday, 25 April 2009
I considered forgoing the use of capitals but instantly decided that it would have driven me crazy.
In this instance, inconsistence is driving me insane. I haven't socialized with more than three people in the past 24 hours, nor have I stepped outside of my house all day. Supposedly, it was in the mid 80's. For all I know, that could have been a lie.
Except for the fact that my room is boiling me like an egg.
I would have sincerely wished for this a week ago when our furnace exploded, and then when the circuit blew for my room.
But now the ceiling fan is just a nice thought and I can't open the windows because of spiders.
Oh, and the screens took a suicide plunge during the winter and are also nice thoughts.
I'd like to open my windows.
I'll gladly be the frame.
I met Aaron Weiss last night.
I can't stop thinking about that show.
I need to see them again in June and July.
Saturday, 20 December 2008
i never write in this anymore.
I never feel poetic or am aware of any writing skills i may possess until I start writing. I certainly don't think in prose, though I remember a time when I used to.
I think it's been the stress of this semester. Without getting into everything.....heh....I'm so glad it's over. Almost all of the loose ends have been tied. All my classes and portfolio reviews are over. There's nobody outright threatening me or my friends anymore. My plane ticket has been bought(like an hour ago), I now have my Nikon D90. Almost all of my Christmas shopping is done. I have so much less to worry about. And when Christmas and new year's are over, I'll have even less.
I can't wait.
When I have time, I'll scan in my portfolios and update my deviantart and flickr accounts.
So yep. I don't think I have anything more to say, except to keep an eye on the acoustic project that I am a participant in....We'll be making an announcement soon.
Mhmmm. Closure. Almost.
Thursday, 30 October 2008
but that's ok.
but yeah. i almost just spilled an entire cup of coffee on my keyboard. what a catastrophe that would have been.
the more i listen to music, the more i go to shows, the more i listen and re-listen to music that i've recorded and mixed, the more i feel like i can't just stand idle and not do something. and as i sit here and just listen to songs we've recorded, it makes me feel like i just can't sit still and i just want to be doing something proactive to get going and i keep thinking that over and over and over and over just the same thoughts over and over again. and i'm still sitting in the same chair at the same desk typing on the same keyboard. and nothing gets done about it.
i mean, it's not like i can just get up and pull a song out of the air and record it. that's just impossible.
but i'm just so restless and i don't know what to do to fix it.
i don't believe that God puts people and passions in your life for you to push them aside. restlessness comes from either frustration of being out of His will, or driving passion to complete His will. often, both simultaneously. i just don't know what to do next. like, i do but i don't.
as far as i know, i'll be in boston in about 9-10 months working on my bachelor's. for photog.
i just sneezed.
but what about after that? what about, during that?
i know the answers will probably come 'in time'.
i hate waiting.
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
i havent updated this in the LONGEST time.
so much has happened, and yet
nothing at all.
i've been working.
wasting my hard earned wages on a plane ticket because Greyhound decided to morethandouble their prices overnight.
though, it's gonna be fun to go on a plane for the first time.
all by myself.
i'm kinda proud of myself. i'm pretty independent when it comes to that sort of thing.
i created a new xanga for my writing. i got sick of the old one. it was too 'me circa age 15'.
you should subscribe if you're reading this.
3 weeks from today i'll be in maine!
Thursday, 05 June 2008
I.D. who are you? RENEE how are you? i am very well thankyouverymuch your full name? Renee Christine Rorer today's date march 29 '05 place of birth syracuse ny date of birth october 18th 1989 astrological sign libra (even tho horoscopes are full of crap) current grade 10(hehehe im a youngin amongst my clasmates tho height 5'5.5" weight 111 i think hair color light brownish/dark brownish/reddish hair style shoulder length curly-ish wavyish with a bunch of layers eye color greenish hazelish room color white (yes how expressive) peircing or tatoo? if so, what and where? my ears, but i wanna get more...... allergies? marijuana(really) lol describe your personality in one word ARFGLARG! describe your appearance in one word changing soon where will you be in the future? how far in the future? maybe OK in 2 years fer college one thing you hope to do in the future complete the call on my life one thing you hope you don't do in the future have a sex change(yea rite that would never happen eewwwwwwwww) a phrase or saying that should be banned in the future "i want your tots" hahaha jk i say it all the time an invention that would make your life easier an invention that makes more inventions something you would like to experience in the future LOOOOOOOOVE what will you most likely miss about the past? the simplicity do you believe the human race will end? ehh........long story read the bible what will replace oil? what kind of oil? what will the internet cause? THE END OF THE WORLD what will replace shaving? waxing favorites favorite thing to do sing favorite way to dress hahaha i dress on my mood favorite person YOU favorite animal monkey or pigs a flower you really like orchids or tiger lilies a smell you love Tommy Girl perfume a taste you love sugar! your favorite sport i dont play much sports.... your favorite meal shrimp maybe? your favorite drink Dr Pepper or coffee your favorite desert ice cream favorite game the game where i annoy people favorite book too many faves favorite magazine cosmogirl or seventeen favorite movie either Armageddon, What About Bob, or A Walk To Remember favorite musician my dad lol favorite band wow i like a lot.....thats really hard..... favorite actress Kirsten Dunst (?) favorite actor SPONGEBOB favorite tv show extreme makeover home edition idk lol favorite artist hmmmmm........ favorite time of day as soon as i get home from school favorite state of mind when im clear headed thing that makes you happiest God possessions watch yep shoes yep clothes nope aint got none...what do u think? allowance nope im an independant woman lol cologne or perfume tommy girl and bath and body stuff on your wall posters of plays and musicals ive been in and pix of friends you collect buttons and pins you don't have alot of necklaces head spin something forbidden you have done that might even surprise your friends ummmm zinger???lol inside joke if something is your fault, you tend to do what? pretend i didnt do it....... a lie you tell yourself that im concieted or i think too much your most recent lie I DIDNT DO IT a lie you have told that you wish you could take back hmmmmm cant think of any something you have stolen that was not worth the risk yea rite...me steal? the worst thing you have ever said to your parents IM NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!!!!!! the worst thought you ever had about your parents lol why would i post it for the world to see? have you ever hit someone? yea all the time! if yes, why? b/c it is a sign of affection what would your reaction be if your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you DUMP HIM have you cheated? nope and never will a time you hurt someone emotionally on purpose was retaliation i guess idk beliefs do you believe in god? of course what religion were you raised with/ christianity do you practice it? practice? practice for what? its a way of life death is... something i dont want to experience yet how do you picture the end of the world? read the end of the bible do you believe in evolution? which kind? macro-evolution or micro-evolution? dont even get me started on this topic lol or i wont shut up! i love theology do you believe in karma? well you reap what you sow what would you like to come back as? if reincarnation had a bad day, what would you come back as? i wouldnt come back i'd stay home friends how many friends do you have? i have no idea...... three traits you look for in a friend? honesty, morals humor who are you three best friends? o wow i dont even want to type this b/c i might hurt someones feelings the thing you enjoy doing most with your friends chiilen, singing, writing something you struggle with when you are in a big group of friends feeling like i want to be the leader a freind your parents don't approve of YOU a friend whom you miss STEPH!!!! a friend who makes you laugh dave lol a friend whom you can tell anything ashlie a friend to whom you can go for advice jordanee a friend you can go crazy with all of em lol a friend you can flirt with hehehehe a friend you should not flirt with as much as you do ^^see above a friend who you would like to kiss no comment a friend you don't take seriously YOU a friend you may lose soon hmmmmmm..... why? dunno a friend you have lost *sigh* a friend who does or believes in something you cannot respect a few but yea a friend with whom you would like to be closer good question a friend to whom you would never lend money hehehe a few of them......many of which havent paid me back lol a friend who has betrayed you yet again a few...*sigh* a friend you need to forgive a friend to whom you have something important to say but have not yet someone but im not gonna say here! best friend as a child Sara worst enemy as a child didnt have any someone who you really dislike now again, im not gonna post it the friend who is most like you hahahaha dave HT! the friend who is least like you do you give or take more in a friendship? you what you like most about yourself lol my humor maybe? what you like lest about yourself idk you best quality christian-ness your worst quality a tad of selfishness maybe three words that describe how others view you differently, put togethter three words that you would use to describe yourself nice funny determined three things for which you are often complimented earrings clothes jokes the animal that best describes you monkey! the greatest amount of phyisical pain you endured when i had an IV in 2 arms and 2 hands and when they squeezed the needle and popped the vein the greatest amount of emotional pain you endured breakups your best physical feature eyes a physical feature you would like to change nose describe with one word you save letters you kick brian you have snot you mind mommy you know jack you wonder alot you sing everyday you suffer you love God you buy stuff you fear teletubbies you enjoy sunsets you want icecream you hope you pay cash you expect the unexpected you dream @nite you assume you neglect you understimate kids you manipulate friends you overestimate you scream 4 icecream you forget names you mean bean you fulfull dreams you hate licorice you beg you thank God you suspect conspirators you distrust you risk reputations you maintain life you are COOL! the dumbest thing you ever did get a late detention most painful criticism you ever got YOU SUCK yes or no you can make decisions yes you care about your body yes you love talking on the phone yes you are reliable yes you replace the toilet paper after using the last sheet sometimes you consider yourself a happy person yes you have a secret with someone that you can never share yes you are always late no you think you snore no you talk too much idk you dislike confrontation yes you have good manners sometimes you are moody sometimes you find many things quite annoying sometimes you can tell jokes yes! you feel awkward in public no you wear underwear of course you remember your dreams yes you eat too fast yes you like your parents yes you need a lot idk you recycle yes you drink enough water idk you are perceived as a you shave of course you can whistle a little but its hard with braces you are sad sometimes you believe in destiny yes you brush your teeth regularly yes you have something to confess yes you pick your nose no.......? you have traveled alone yes you are often ashamed of yourself sometimes you care too much about you hair ehh if its a special occasion when you are wrong, you apologize sometimes you are addicted to coca-cola, chocolate, or coffee YES you get out of bed immediately sometimes you save things yes you are comfortable at parties yes you always have the last word yes you wish everyone cared more yes you have a hard time accepting things sometimes you are popular depends on who u ask life treats you well yes i think sometimes emotions your current emotion didnt i already answer this? emotion you tend to hide the most anger an emotion you can't hide deep hurt the predominant emotion you have experienced lately happiness a moment when you achieved absolute happiness when i was 3 and prayed the moment you lost your innocence *gulp* you have a great amount of guilt regarding idk when you want to be happy, you need Friends when you are sad, you need someone to talk to when you are angry, you need ditto when you are in love, you need lovin when you are lonely, you need someone to talk to you would love it if someone told you thta they loved me too! the last time you were very angry with yourself idk lol the last time you cried about a month ago...in public anyway the last time you laughed 2 sec ago someone who genuinely has or does make you happy YOU! something that makes you happy ditto spontaneously match the following emotions with a color fear black love mauve happiness yellow sadness blue anger red guilt purple jealousy green loneliness light blue memories your earliest memory dreams when and where was your first kiss? well....my first real kiss is yet to come, but my first kiss(on the cheek)(lol) froma guy was while mini golfing lol the first time you fell in love *sigh* the last time you heart was broken ditto most precious childhood memory eating candy for the first time a scary time you cannot forget when i was attacked by a telletuby something that will always make you laugh talkin to dave a person who is especially kind to you a few ppl a person who made you miserable for a long time YOU the most peaceful time of your life now lol j/k my life is always crazy a tragic moment that has shaped you 9/11 the most shocking moment you ever had when i found out um.....the earth wasnt flat something you wish you hadn't witnessed MY PARENTS IN THE ACT something you wish you hadn't heard ditto something forbidden you'd like to do again eat more icecream tonite! your most jealous moment ive had a few.... someone you wish you had never met hmnmmmm no one someone who you would like to meet again idk lol a smell that reminds you of your childhood wood an object that reminds you of your childhood toys a moment you will always remember talkin to you!AND FINISHING THIS LONG SURVEY I.D. who are you?: your worst nightmare. how are you?: medium rare. your full name?: Renee Christine Rorer. today's date: Wednesday, June 4th, TwoThousandAndEight. place of birth: I was concieved someplace very dark that smelled of claustrophobia. date of birth: Who knows. astrological sign: shuddup. current grade: 14 height: five six? weight: onetwentysomething. hair color: soo many different colors. brown and dark brown and light brown and faded red. hair style: no. eye color: hazel green. room color: JUNGLE peircing or tatoo? if so, what and where?: two in my ears, 2 of those are stretched, i have my lip pierced and i want to get my tragus and helix done. and tattoos will arrive when i have the necessary funds. allergies?: weed. describe your personality in one word: no. describe your appearance in one word: yessss. soon where will you be in the future?: BOSTON. Not oklahoma, sadly. I can't wait though. one thing you hope to do in the future: excell. one thing you hope you don't do in the future: deaccelerate. a phrase or saying that should be banned in the future: i think we all know the answer to this one. an invention that would make your life easier: an invention that makes more inventions. obvvvv. something you would like to experience in the future: marriage. what will you most likely miss about the past?: people did everything FOR me. they even changed me when i crapped my pants. do you believe the human race will end?: i'm not even going to get into this. what will replace oil?: balsamic vinegrette. what will the internet cause?: zOMG TERRORISMZ what will replace shaving?: ductape. favorites favorite thing to do: eat. favorite way to dress: fatfatfat favorite person: there are a few. favorite animal: PIGGSSSSSS. or Zebras. a flower you really like: i like the way poppies are referenced in the Bible. a smell you love: clean. a taste you love: espresso. your favorite sport: hahhhh. your favorite meal: edible. your favorite drink: coffee-related. your favorite desert: please don't ask me this. favorite game: the one where I mess up your mind. favorite book: ultimately, the Bible. favorite magazine: Nylon. I barely read anything though. favorite movie: please don't ask me this. favorite musician: please don't ask me this. favorite band: no. favorite actress: no. favorite actor: no. favorite tv show: the office. favorite artist: mary ellen mark. favorite time of day: i like the entirety of the day that God has orchestrated. favorite state of mind: clarity. thing that makes you happiest: there are so many. possessions watch: several. shoes: 30ish. clothes: at least 600 articles. allowance: howabout payroll. cologne or perfume: be delicious from DKNY. on your wall: the everglades. and oversized keys. you collect: oversized keys. you don't have alot of: oversized keys. head spin something forbidden you have done that might even surprise your friends: sworn. maybe once. if something is your fault, you tend to do what?: it depends on what it is. a lie you tell yourself: that i'm skinny underneath all the FAT your most recent lie: who knowss. a lie you have told that you wish you could take back: who knowss. something you have stolen that was not worth the risk: nothing. ever. the worst thing you have ever said to your parents: i've told my parents i hated them before. they said it back though. the worst thought you ever had about your parents: who knows? have you ever hit someone?: yes. yes i have. if yes, why?: >:D what would your reaction be if your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you: well i'm not a lesbian so i'd be pretty surprised if my girlfriend were to cheat. have you cheated?: no. a time you hurt someone emotionally on purpose was: no. beliefs do you believe in god?: no. i believe in God. what religion were you raised with/: i was not raised with a 'religion'. 'religion' implicates something other than what i believe. look up the roots of the word. do you practice it?: no. death is...: no. how do you picture the end of the world?: i picture it on a polariod. do you believe in evolution?: i believe in creationism and a God that created creatures with abilities to adapt to their environments. that's it. do you believe in karma?: you reap what you sow. what would you like to come back as?: a fighter jet. if reincarnation had a bad day, what would you come back as?: pudding. friends how many friends do you have?: zOMG 402398432490 three traits you look for in a friend?: honesty and porkiness, in addition to getting it. who are you three best friends?: sara, michael, and the third is a tough choice. the thing you enjoy doing most with your friends: existing. something you struggle with when you are in a big group of friends: i don't struggle. i tend to walk away. a freind your parents don't approve of: no. a friend whom you miss: many. a friend who makes you laugh: a few. a friend whom you can tell anything: my two closests. a friend to whom you can go for advice: the previous answer looks like the word 'closet'. a friend you can go crazy with: zOMG! a friend you can flirt with: hahaha. i can't remember the last time i actually flirted. a friend you should not flirt with as much as you do: no. a friend who you would like to kiss: no. a friend you don't take seriously: no. a friend you may lose soon: no. why?: no. a friend you have lost: no. a friend who does or believes in something you cannot respect: no. a friend with whom you would like to be closer: your mother. a friend to whom you would never lend money: no. a friend who has betrayed you: michael timothy dumont. a friend you need to forgive: no. a friend to whom you have something important to say but have not yet: no. best friend as a child: sara. worst enemy as a child: you. someone who you really dislike now: no. the friend who is most like you: no. the friend who is least like you: no. do you give or take more in a friendship?: give. you what you like most about yourself: i'm not stupid. what you like lest about yourself: i'm stupid. you best quality: my cordiality. your worst quality: i'm mean. three words that describe how others view you: you. tell. me. three words that you would use to describe yourself: how. about. no. three things for which you are often complimented: fashion. voice. face. the animal that best describes you: ZEBRA. you know what this means. the greatest amount of phyisical pain you endured: giving birth. in the future. the greatest amount of emotional pain you endured: ew. your best physical feature: placenta. a physical feature you would like to change: my droopy eye. describe with one word you save: coins. you kick: your rear. you have: power. you mind: controls. you know: everything. you wonder: why you're still reading this. you sing: often. you suffer: the children. you love: honestly. you buy: candy. you fear: claymation. you enjoy: the absurd. you want: bacon. you hope: bacon. you pay: bacon. you expect: bacon. you dream: of bacon. you assume: that most people don't get it. you neglect: small animals. you understimate: the power of AIDS. you manipulate: your thoughts. yes, you. you overestimate: how much things can cost. you scream: for icecream. you forget: me not. you mean: what i say. you fulfull: dreams. ohhh yes. you hate: black licorice you beg: and plead. you thank: the Lord. you suspect: thieves. you distrust: thieves. you risk: my life. you maintain: a good reputation. you are: Renee. the dumbest thing you ever did: i think we all know. most painful criticism you ever got: hahaha. that i don't move enough on stage. yes or no you can make decisions: yes. you care about your body: yes. you love talking on the phone: yes. you are reliable: yes. you replace the toilet paper after using the last sheet: no. you consider yourself a happy person: yes. you have a secret with someone that you can never share: no. you are always late: no. you think you snore: no. you talk too much: no. you dislike confrontation: yes. you have good manners: yes. you are moody: yes. you find many things quite annoying: yes. you can tell jokes: yes. you feel awkward in public: yes. you wear underwear: :( you remember your dreams: yes. you eat too fast: yes. you like your parents: yes. you need a lot: yes. you recycle: yes. you drink enough water: yes. you are perceived as a: yes. you shave: yes. you can whistle: yes. you are sad: yes. you believe in destiny: yes. predestination, at least. you brush your teeth regularly: yes. you have something to confess: yes. you pick your nose: yeNO. you have traveled alone: YES!!!! best story about that. you are often ashamed of yourself: no. you care too much about you hair: hahahaha. no. when you are wrong, you apologize: eh. you are addicted to coca-cola, chocolate, or coffee: dark chocolate, i enjoy. but i've been a solid coffee drinker for 4 years. you get out of bed immediately: nooo. you save things: yes. you are comfortable at parties: no. you always have the last word: yes. you wish everyone cared more: eh. you have a hard time accepting things: no. you are popular: ehh. life treats you well: yes. emotions your current emotion: rushed. emotion you tend to hide the most: happiness. an emotion you can't hide: anger. the predominant emotion you have experienced lately: blahEXCITEMENTblah. a moment when you achieved absolute happiness: there are probably a few. the moment you lost your innocence: that was when i reached the age of accountability. i think i remember that, actually. you have a great amount of guilt regarding: no. when you want to be happy, you need: chocolate. and people. when you are sad, you need: a hug. when you are angry, you need: a hug. when you are in love, you need: a hug. when you are lonely, you need: hug me. you would love it if someone told you: they were going to give me money. the last time you were very angry with yourself: don't know. the last time you cried: must have been a while ago. the last time you laughed: reading the original survey. someone who genuinely has or does make you happy: saramichael. something that makes you happy: pigs. spontaneously match the following emotions with a color fear: purple. love: white. happiness: neon yellow. sadness: ultramarine. anger: boiling fuschia. guilt: mustard yellow. jealousy: sickly green. loneliness: light grey. memories your earliest memory: crying. fresh from the womb. i wish. when and where was your first kiss?: hahahahaFALSE. the first time you fell in love: justshudddddddddup. the last time you heart was broken: 6 minutes ago. most precious childhood memory: eating. i was always eating. a scary time you cannot forget: twothousandandsix. something that will always make you laugh: see above. a person who is especially kind to you: there aren't many these days. a person who made you miserable for a long time: i think we all know. the most peaceful time of your life: the day before i met you. yes, you. you know who you are. a tragic moment that has shaped you: meeting you. the most shocking moment you ever had: the second after i met you. something you wish you hadn't witnessed: that night in th emergency room. something you wish you hadn't heard: ew. something forbidden you'd like to do again: writhe in lard. your most jealous moment: stephen christian's wedding. someone you wish you had never met: eh. someone who you would like to meet again: myself. as a wee lass. a smell that reminds you of your childhood: playdoh. processed plastic. an object that reminds you of your childhood: old wierd tapes. a moment you will always remember: finishing this survey. and taking it again. 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Saturday, 17 May 2008
Did I really write only yesterday?
The days seem like they're dragging. Honestly.
Friday was long. And today I've basically been in front of my computer all day.
That's not to say that I haven't been productive. Trust me, I have been.
But even though I did things that needed to be done, today still feels like it's been a bit of a
So what constitutes the time you spend as wasteful?
I hear my grandma in the other room asking my brother about a video game.
She's going to come in here next, and I'm going to lose my train of thought.
And the time I've spent writing this might turn into a waste.
Living in fear is a waste of your time.
As of late, my grandma has come and gone and I wouldn't say that the
time spent engrossed in smalltalk was a waste.
But I'm not sure why.
My fingers are greasy, or at least were, until my keyboard served to
take the sins of my fingertips as it's own. The plastic is shinier than it once was.
I really need to dust my room.
I'm rambling. And I can't decide whether or not
I have anything deep and meaningful to say to you, to make you think.
But somewhere, maybe I already have.